What Will Be Said of You?

In nearly 30 years of journalism, I wrote for just about every section of the paper, including sports, metro, style and business. One of the last sections I wrote for was one that I penned the fewest articles, but it was one that had one of the biggest impacts.

The obituary page.

As someone who spent a career interviewing people for stories, I initially found it odd writing about a dead person. It meant not ever having a conversation, picking up nuances about how the person speaks, gestures or smiles -- and being unable to verify what others are saying about him/her.

Yet as strange as it may seem, the nature of obituaries – or obits, they're called in the journalism industry – can offer valuable lessons for living.

After writing a few, I came to believe that most people that grow to adulthood will end up with, at the very least, a 4-to-5 paragraph obituary. Those paragraphs are:

(1) The announcement of one's death

(2) When and where the person was born

(3) Some accomplishments

(4) Surviving family members

(5) funeral arrangements.

Sometimes, paragraphs can be combined for a four-paragraph obit. But that’s it. Most everyone gets at least that much. 

So perhaps one of the goals in life is to live in such a way that you get more than a 4-to-5 paragraph obit. And the key is paragraph No. 3.

What will you do with the precious time and talents you have? What will your accomplishments be? What and where will your gifts shine? In what ways will you stand up for what you believe? Who will be affected, inspired or influenced by you? Who, if anyone, will see you as a role model or icon?

One obit I wrote truly hammered that point home. It was for a doctor who not only spent more than a generation caring for his patients but was a college professor who was also extensively involved in outreach.  His passions spoke loud and clear through his accomplishments – his obituary was 21 paragraphs long, with comments about him from people of all walks of life.

But what was truly amazing was that a few days later those who had read his obituary began calling the paper.

“Hey, are you going to do Part 2 to his obituary? I didn’t get a chance to say something for the last one, and I just wanted to say what a difference he made in my life.”

“Are you guys going to do a tribute to him? There was something I wanted to say, how he helped me when I was his student in college.”

“Hey, I must have been out of town when you guys were calling around about him for his obituary. Are you going to do a memorial to him? There’s something I’d like to say.”

The calls kept coming for nearly two weeks. 

 Whether the person died penniless or wealthy, happy or miserable, I know not. What I do know is that he paved the way for others to achieve both happiness and prosperity. That is a life well lived, time well spent.  

Doubtful most of us will be so fortunate. But something is going to be said of you, something that speaks to how you touched those who knew you. What do you want that conversation to be?